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If they ever make a movie about the 2016 Patriots, Martellus Bennett has some ideas about what it would look like

02.01.17 at 9:03 pm ET
Martellus Bennett is a movie guy. (Kirby Lee/USA Today Sports)

Martellus Bennett is a movie guy. (Kirby Lee/USA Today Sports)

HOUSTON — Martellus Bennett watches a lot of game film. But he’s also a movie guy, and given his creative nature, he had some ideas on what might happen if the 2016 Patriots season could be turned into a film.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a drama,” the tight end said following practice on Wednesday. “We have had some dramatic instances over the years. I think it would just be like a Wes Anderson film. Very, very good. It’s beautiful. But there are little things going on here and there to keep you in it. And the color palette … Wes Anderson uses the same color palette in all his films. Very interesting. I love Wes Anderson. I think it would be a Wes Anderson film.”

The season ending injury to Gronk?

“That was like a plot twist,” he said.

One thing he knows is that it wouldn’t be a horror film.

“If this was a scary movie, I probably would have gotten killed in the first scene. Because there are rules to scary movies,” he said.

“Most scary movies, if you want to be in a scary movie as a black guy, you have to have other black people,” explained Bennett. “You have to recruit other black people, because the black cast members are all killed off first. Your best bet is tho have multiple black people in the film. Then, your chances of survival go up.

“If you’re the only black guy with white friends and then one of them says, ‘Hey, there’s some noise in the basement. Go check it out.’ I’d be like, ‘Man, I don’t think we should do that.’ They’d be like, ‘We should really check it out dude.’ I think that would be a bad idea. They go check it out, and you get killed on the couch and say, ‘I should have gone down there with them.’”

At this point, Bennett is just happy that the movie is still rolling. At this time of the year, he’s been the one who has had to sit and watch his brother Michael and the Seahawks. He said he really doesn’t like sitting in the stands and watching a game.

“It’s kind of weird when you’re an athlete and you have to sit in the stands,” he said. “Being 6-foot-5 and 200-whatever and with long legs, you’re just not used to sitting in those seats. It’s kind of uncomfortable. I remember going to my brother’s playoff game one year in Seattle, and it started raining and I was sitting up high, and I was like, ‘Bro, I’m never coming to this [expletive] again.’ It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I couldn’t enjoy the game.”

He did get a chance to experience Super Bowl XLVIII in New York with his brother, but he didn’t go to the game for a few reasons, including the fact that his wife was pregnant at the time.

“Dealing with a pregnant wife in the stadium with all those people and all those hormones and so much going on, you can’t really enjoy the game,” he said. “She might want a pickle or popcorn. Next thing you know, she wants ice cream, and you have to go get it because she can’t really walk and she wants to wear heels to be sexy but her feet hurt. And you try and tell her to put on some New Balance because they are nice and comfortable, but they don’t look as good with her clothes.

“I don’t know. That’s a football game in itself.”

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